Be Better Not Bitter

Why Forgiveness Is Not Weakness And How It Will Set You Free

We have all experienced pain as a result of the actions of others. Every action, every word we choose has a ripple effect out into the world. This is a commonality we all we share; it is an essential element to the intricate tapestry of life.

If pain is therefore unavoidable, our challenge becomes, what do we do with it? How long do we choose to suffer, to dwell on what someone has done “to us”?

Without forgiveness, we are stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle of victimhood, resentment, bitterness and an inability to move forward in our lives. Yet, forgiveness seems difficult, and at times, even impossible to imagine.

The magnitude and length of time we experience the pain, seems to be in direct proportion of how difficult it is to forgive. The more pain, the longer it goes on for, the more difficult it becomes to forgive.

The truth is we are the ones in control of how we feel, and how long we feel it.

Why then do we do this to ourselves? What makes us want to hang on to these distressing thoughts?

We seem to have a limited understanding of compassion and empathy, something that is not readily taught, and is difficult to put ourselves in “someone else’s shoes”, to accept them as they are.

It is a challenging concept for most of us to accept that maybe there is no right or wrong, only differing perspectives. If we believed that everyone had a right to their viewpoint based on their completely unique set of life experiences, it would change everything.

And here is a fundamental truth that we avoid – we all want to be happy, and the power to create our happiness, resides only within our selves. By hanging on to past pain, and the feelings of being wronged, we negate the opportunity to experience happiness. Bitterness, frustration, resentment, and anger cannot coincide with happiness. It is impossible.

What ever it is we believe, that is our truth.

As Prince Ea so eloquently speaks to in the video below, when we refuse to forgive, by being attached to our judgment, prejudice and pain, we lock ourselves into our own prison.

Forgiveness then, is not for the benefit of those who we believe have wronged us, it’s for us. It’s about freeing ourselves from the shackles of the ongoing weight of self-imposed indignation. This includes the most important person of all to forgive – ourself.

Forgiveness is an act of courage, of self-care, of choosing our happiness now, regardless of what has happened in the past.

Have you imprisoned yourself with your inability to forgive? Maybe, it’s time to set your self free. After all, you, and only you, have the key to unlock your prison.

Choose to let go, to accept, and to forgive. Be better, not bitter.