I am not who I used to be. The past is gone.
The present is where I live, and I’m busy creating my future.
I am an active contributor to The Good Men Project sharing my experiences and perspectives as a man.
I lived and breathed a conventional corporate life for decades with all the trappings and pleasures that went along with it. I appeared to have it all: a beautiful family, cars, homes, career and a pension down the road.
Yet, I was a mess.
I struggled with my relationships, my health, integrity, authenticity, honesty, anger, unhealthy habitual behaviours and a general frustration with life. I felt stuck. I believed this was the way a successful man was supposed to live. This was life.
I had lied, cheated and checked myself in to rehab. I hurt those I cared about the most, lost their trust and lost my sense of identity. I was self-destructing and contemplated ending-it-all.
Everything I valued and the value of life was slipping away. I was my own worst enemy. I did not like being me.
Then over a period of a few months—using anger as a catalyst and deciding to fight—I changed everything and everything changed. I had my ‘dark night of the soul’ and came out the other side.
I live an amazing life today. I like being me. I’m healthier and more at peace. I’m re-married to an amazing woman who is my best friend and I am inspired to live.
I still have my faults. There are aspects of me that I want to improve. I accept this in myself and strive to be better.
Life is still a rollercoaster but now I’m ‘all-in’ for the ride. I no longer ‘check-out’ and escape from life’s challenges. Today, I choose to do my best and face those challenges head-on.
Today I am a communicator of my truth. I’ll share with you what I’ve discovered about being a man in this seemingly complicated, corporate, soul-sucking, consumer and money-driven yet interesting and beautiful world.
It’s imperative for me to be real, to be authentic, open and talk about the uncomfortable stuff, like pornography, addiction, relationships and masculinity.
Life as a man can be so damn entertaining. Come along for the ride.