“Life” happens to all of us. No one is immune.

We can feel mired in the abyss of what is happening around us, or to us. Some times it feels like the world is spinning out of control.

Despair is knocking at your door.

Are you going to let it in and allow it to take up residence in your head, and control your emotional state?

It can be easy to do, letting the tide of helplessness wash over you, feeling like you have no say in what happens to you.

And the fact is there are many aspects of life you have no control over, and only some you have any influence over. This leads to a feeling of hopelessness.

But the reality is that when you react to outside events – letting them dictate your emotional state – you are being emotionally irresponsible.

Don’t believe me? Being emotionally irresponsible might look like any or all of these:

• State of reactivity – life happens to me.
• Act out on emotions as they happen.
• Respond habitually (unconsciously).
• Scarcity and fear driven choices.
• Vocabulary of “Have to”, “Should”, and “I can’t”.
• Focused on security, protection, and comfort.
• Avoid failure, discomfort, and rejection.
• Separateness mentality.
• Choices are made for short-term results (instant gratification).
• Live mostly in the past and/or the future.

Based on this, how many people do you know would be considered emotionally irresponsible? Would you be?

It is an acceptable way to be. Advertisers are masters of manipulating us into believing these are normal ways of behaving. Many of us have been brought up believing these as truths.

Note: I am not suggesting you hide from your emotions or to become emotion-less. Watch the following video – Being Emotionally Responsible Does Not Mean Emotion-Less – for clarification on this point.

But how do you turn it around to become emotionally responsible?

Circumstances have no meaning except for the meaning we give them.

We always have control over one aspect of our lives, the most important one.

We get to choose how we respond in any given situation.

We get to choose our emotional response.

Emotional responsibility might look some thing like this:

• Be accountable – I own my choices.
• Recognize my emotions as they occur.
• Respond consciously.
• Vision and purpose driven life.
• Vocabulary of “I choose to…”
• Willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
• Seek growth and challenge.
• Unity, oneness mentality.
• Choices are made for my long-term, holistic wellbeing (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual).
• Live mostly in the present, the past is my teacher, the future is hopeful.

Acting emotionally irresponsible is easy to do. Victimhood is an accepted belief system, and there are plenty of people to commiserate with.

Acting in an emotionally responsible manner may not win you many friends, but you will sleep better at night feeling in control of your life, and your wellbeing.

Step One: Awareness – are you reacting or responding?

Step Two: Choose to be emotionally responsible.

Step Three: Practice, Patience, and Persistence.

You can choose to be a victim, or empowered by your choices.

Freedom and peace of mind comes from being emotionally responsible.

I know what I am choosing. How about you?